SOFT ROES

That is a good heading for spellchecker. It was quite interesting how many interpretations and spellings of that title were offered by Mr Apple.  But this is not another “Update” as to the investigations that have been carried out over the past few months. I have had another ultrasonic scan but yet to have the results. I think the emphasis on that scan was my kidneys. 

I have completed the “Pathway through Pain” course that the NHS have offered me. I think I said in a previous post that I was finding the course quite helpful in terms of the meditation and breathing to overcome the pain issues, And those benefits did outweigh the annoying and inappropriate guidance and suggestions.

Through visualising the spasms, aches and pains, I find I can breathe and eventually relax which does mean the pain  is reduced. I find it much easier to actually visualise things and this way I can navigate my way around the spasms. I hasten to add that when I am having a big relapse no meditation, breathing, hot bath or drug will make life better. 

Get this:  I think most people who read this blog are cooks of some sort or at least may have watched a piece of meat or muscle sitting in a frying pan. Of those pieces of protein, I think herring roes give the best example. Imagine the roes in a colander and you pour boiling water over them (I will not go into the detail as to why one does this when about to prepare a Soft Roe dish).  You will observe that the roes contract to the extent that they completely distort and writhe grotesquely. In MS the muscles harden;  think of the scalded roes.  My knowledge of anatomy lets me down here, but my ignorance or the exact physiognomy is irrelevant because what I am doing is conjuring up a visual image to help my meditation.  What I visualise is those muscles have nerves around them and the covering of those nerves has been stripped through the process of demyelination, which is what happens in MS. So what I try and do is imagine those distorted soft roes being soothed and bathed.  In turn, with the breathing, the warmth of the hot water and the assistance of CBD, those tortured muscles are soothed.

But this relaxation does have its drawbacks and I am tempted to think that the reason why my mobility has become so much worse is because the muscles aren’t strong enough to hold me up because I’m spending the whole time telling them to be weak and floppy. Does that make sense?

Regarding my mobility, I have been walking as much as I can which isn’t difficult at the moment walking from the nest in the garden to the house and back, several times a day, and I make sure I climb the stairs at least twice every 24 hours in order to keep the muscle memory going.  Balance is my main issue and I now walk with two sticks which is a huge help as I take a lot of my weight on my arms instead of my weak legs.  But as my right arm is deteriorating particularly quickly at the moment I find taking that weight has compromised the use of that limb.  I am going to experiment today and try not to use both sticks to see if that makes a difference to the attacks I tend to get about 8 o’clock at night. These latest episodes have been resolved with a hot bath and a bit of meditation and of course the CBD.